I consider myself strange. A weird twisted shape that manages to stand out and look glamorous at the same time.
A perfect balance of psycho and sweet.
A blasting of musical instruments of the strings and bass… graceful and erratic, quiet and loud, crazy and analytical.
When I think of myself, I think of the coin. Two sides, depending on how you flip, you see whichever face comes up.
I find my music and rhythm in nature, quiet streets and windy nights. I hate the running and screaming and noisy affair of cities. But I live in them still.
As a child, my peace and calmness were found in books and tv shows, from Moby Dick to Teletubbies, Lantern books to Ladybird Publishers..I found solace in quiet spaces.
I have thick slightly off black hair. I love how my fingers sink into them when I massage my scalp with scented oils and lotions. I love how I listen to Enya or Lana or Billie or Whitney while I wash soap suds off my eyes, The music blasting off speakers and how I drive my imaginations beyond speed limits.
I wear what suits the mood. A dress today, a baggy pant and shirt that says "We should all be feminists", my birthday suit on days when the sun almost kisses the earth and I am cocooned in my room.
I love food. I love how I love food. How my tongue wraps around every morsel and grasps every taste. How I wait for my food to get cool before I eat cos I can never chew hot food.
I love how I Laugh. The way it reverberates across the room and bounces back with double the cheer and music.
There is a calmness in how I work. I envy her, that is me. How, with a dedicated mind, I focus on what is important and push myself to the limit and beyond. This is how I love too.
Like a dance, in the frenzy of it all, giving all I am, hoping to win and moving on one step at a time when I lose.
Back bent in sadness as I sob on the bathroom floor, asking for less a heart, less of emotions, less of being human,
Forgetting that these make me, Me.
So, the soft kinky hair, brilliant smiles with squinted eyes, moody blues and reddish highs, coding sprees and music nights, cooking shows for viewing eyes, bookish looks and funny faces..are what make me, Me.